Just a moment of gratitude!

What Do Professional Organizers Learn At Conference Anyway...?

In April I went to the NAPO 2013 Professional Organizer's Conference in New Orleans. I'll sneak a few points I learned that I will pass on to you!

I'm sure many people wonder how much can you learn about being organized. I mean really. Well despite some beliefs, organizing and productivity go waaaaaaaay deeper than just keeping things off the floor, in pretty bins with labels. Often there is deep psychology that goes into coaching people in the right direction. Noticing certain behaviors and learning techniques to avoid, or overcome certain behaviors.Professional organizers are project managers, coaches, solution providers, accountability partners, and of course there is the keeping things off the floor and putting them in pretty bins with labels...

At conference one of our keynote speakers was Dr. Kelly Mcgonigal, PhD. Dr. Mcgonigal is a health psychologist and lecturer at Stanford University, and a leading expert in the new field of “science-help.” She is passionate about translating cutting-edge research from psychology, neuroscience, and medicine into practical strategies for health, happiness, and personal success.

Her topic was on "Unmask the Potential In Yourself: The Willpower Instinct." She noted that there are three "keys" of I want (your goals), I will ( things you say yes to), and I won't (things you say no to).We have the ability to exercise our brains in order to become aware of when we are doing something against our goals.. One way to challenge yourself is through what she calls small willpower challenges. An example of one is making a conscious decision to no longer say contractions in speech (i.e. I won't turns into I will not). This small exercise can help the brain create awareness and then we can begin to train the brain to do other things like break bad habits or create good ones.

One thing that was of great interest as well she noted: STOP THE SHAME AND GUILT.Shame and guilt lead to the "what-the-hell" syndrome. Which sabotages will power. We've all done it. The doughnut study (which I wish I was considered to be a part of) shows that women who felt guilt (different than regret) and shame if they ate a doughnut then ate another or two. Why? The second (or third) doughnut was soothing the guilt and the shame of the first.Crazy right? Well conversely if you forgive yourself  for the first doughnut your brain doesn't need the soothing from the guilt and shame and people were able to move on and still reach weight-loss goals.

The point for organizing is the psychology behind habit-forming activities and why some clients have such a hard time overcoming clutter. Organizing takes will power and often clutter creates shame. If professional organizers learn how shame, guilt, and willpower work we can create the best solutions for our clients.

So to all my clients...aren't you glad you hired a professional?

What's On Your Plate? - The Main Course.

So you have a lot on your plate?

The Main Course

We've all been there.  At a friend's home for dinner where the instructions were to grab a plate and help yourself, or at a buffet-style restaurant.  With plate in hand, your stomach grumbles, your mouth salivates, and your eyes scan over the delectables.  Most of us want to eat somewhat sensibly but somehow simultaneously give into the desires of our taste buds.

A few blog posts ago we delved into thinking about our time more tangibly, as if we are filling literal plates.  Just as we all have 24-hours in a day, we can only fit so much activity in each day or on our "plates".  As we talk about our metaphorical buffet, we can review tips and ways of thinking for our priorities, agendas, and to-do items.

Portion Control

One thing we've heard when we are limiting ourselves to a specific number of calories is portion-control.  This helps us deal with the eyes-are-bigger-than-your-stomach syndrome.  At a literal buffet a well cooked-ham looks appealing but it would be unwise and futile to put the whole ham on our plate.  We get a carving knife and we get a couple slices at a time.  Similarly, if we know we have a big project coming up, it's over-whelming to think we can do it all in one day.  We should break it down into smaller pieces and if at all possible share (or delegate) the pieces of the project to others.

Eat Your Veggies

Another method we've heard that helps us achieve a non-gluttonous, more healthy approach to dining buffet-style is eat your salad first. Make sure your salad is full of nutrient-rich diverse fruits and vegetables and a low-calorie dressing.  This ensures you get vitamins in and it also helps you put the most important foods in your body before you fill up on things like pasta and ice cream.  When it comes to time management, we likewise must do the less-interesting but more productive items first.  Watching the news, going shopping, or checking out the latest on social media may be legitimate things we need to do.  However, if we get things done that are less-desirable but necessary, like exercise, putting away laundry, paying bills, etc. We have those things done and we can enjoy the more exciting items on our to-do list, without the guilt, shame, and heart-ache of falling behind on the necessary mundane activities.

Keeping your plate balanced is also key to good time management.  Stay tuned to this blog as we'll talk about navigating the buffet and how yummy-fun-dessert-like items are also a must!

Thinking outside the box.

I recently jumped on the Elfa sale in February and then the following work smart office sale this month at The Container Store.  I turned my new nook-of an-office into a functional space. It's not Home & Garden but it works for me!. I use the vertical space to fit A LOT of stuff but it's organized and functional for me.  If you knew my home office before I moved you know I had a lot of space, half a guest room and 90% of a walk in-closet to be exact. But with our move to DC, the room that I work out of also serves as a den/family room with futon and tv, my office and library, the cats' lair (complete with litter box, cat condo, and cat bed/house along with their food), and our coat closet.  And to make matters more interesting this room is about half the size of the my former office space and as noted it serves about 3 more functions.  Therefore, I'm so grateful for the vertical space and my organizing agility to get this space to function efficiently. We've only been at our new residence about a month and a half so I'm proud that I was able to eke this work space out with sure tweaks as time goes on. And thank goodness for the sales at The Container Store, they were right on time! But what if you have a small space for two people to work with?  You can get into MacGyver-meets-HGTV mode and with a bookshelf, a flat surface desk, two chairs and organizing accessories you can create THIS: A functional work space for two! What about you? Do you have a space challenge? I'd love to hear about it! Reply to this email and ask me and perhaps in our next Ezine I'll answer your question!

Important Things You Should Know: Helping the Immaculate and the Messy Live Together

3 Surefire Ways to Help the Immaculate and the Messy Live Together

Spouse, college roommate, housemate, it doesn't matter the type of mate; we are all different, with our own, very independent, way of doing things. Opposite patterns of thought (even about housekeeping) can drive you crazy but they don’t have too. You see, Messy Marvin is happy. He is not bothered by his mess. On the other hand, Immaculate Emmie is happy, when the place looks like a model home. It is when this ideal state of housekeeping bliss is interrupted that challenges arise. Here are three surefire ways to help you (the immaculate or the messy) improve your living environment.

1. Get off the edge and move to the center. Whether you are an overly messy person or a neat freak both are at the far edge of the spectrum. Move from your position of extremity to a meeting point somewhere in the middle. Think of your relationship, whether espousal or roommate, as a circle of love. If too far to the left or right, you end up on the edge or outside the circle of love. People on the edge are easily frustrated and annoyed. That’s why that little sock on the floor or the dirty dishes in the sink becomes a reason to fight and lose your peace.

Make a decision that your peace of mind and your relationship are more valuable than your position on housekeeping. This is an opportunity to grow as an individual and grow together.

2. Engage in intentional conversation. Have you and your roommate sat down to an intentional conversation around domestic responsibilities and expectations? This conversation (not argument) is a must. Have this conversation during a time of PEACE not WAR. Words exchanged during the heat of battle are like grenades being launched at a target. They cause harm and destruction further hindering the goal of a tranquil living space. Set a date to come together and map out a plan you both can live with. See things from the other person’s perspective. One person’s perspective does not have the monopoly. Patience and change are necessary in both parties.

3. PLAN FOR THE GOOD not the bad and the ugly. Have you ever said something like this to yourself? “If I go in that house and those dishes are still in the sink, I am going to go off.” Or maybe this, “If he gets on me one more time about leaving my shoes out, I will throw them upside his head.” In each case the plan is for the bad and the ugly. You can turn this around. Plan for the good with thoughts like, “If I go in here and the dishes are not washed, I will either leave them and not be bothered, or I will wash them myself because they are bothering me not the other person.”

Rather than trying to change and train one another, take responsibility for personal challenges and show respect towards your housemate. Remember, you each want the same thing – to live in a peaceful environment. Get off the edge, converse with each other, plan for the good, and GO FOR THE GOAL!

Deborah Mills
DeborahJerome LLC
Revolutionary Relationship Strategist, Mentor, Keynote

Stay in touch at www.deborahjerome.com | facebook.com/deborahjrome |twitter.com/deborahjrome

Whose House Is It Anyway?

I was with a client and she made the statement: "I didn't want to register for china when I got married, but family members told me I had to...I registered for china...I don't use it...here it sits..."  And there it was, under the shelf in a pantry, taking up space, still in the box. It was china but what it REALLY is, is someone else's expectation taking up real estate in her home.

Do you have something in a box, on a shelf, or out in the open that stares at you with guilty eyes every time you see it? You think: "I don't want you here!" But it speaks back softly and slyly,  "But Aunt Cindy/Grandma/Cousin James wants me here and until you can tell them you don't want me here then let me be, collecting dust, being ugly/unused/not working!" But I ask you - Whose house is it anyway?  Sometimes and most times than not, the person that you think will be so crushed by getting rid of that unwanted item probably doesn't even remember giving it to you, didn't want it in their house and thought they could pawn it off on you, or won't really care if you donate it/recycle it/throw it away.

Many times people who hire a Professional Organizer seek permission.  They know the answer to that burning question of what they should do with the unwanted box of china.  So I tell you what, next time you tell the box of china (or whatever it is for you) that you are serving it an eviction notice and if it gives you a sly remark back, tell it: "My Professional Organizer said SCRAM! I'm only allowed to keep what is beautiful/useful/and functional in my home and since you don't fit that description Aunt Cindy/Grandma/Cousin James can pay me rent to keep you here, otherwise ciao, baby!" Now didn't that feel good? Oh, now look! You have room in your home for something you really love.  You're welcome. ;)

Important Things You Should Know...

It’s a great idea to identify your belongings before an incident or theft occurs by making a record of what you have and it’s valued. An insurance adjuster is going to look for those records and receipts when calculating how much the insurance company can offer indemnification for. The more detailed the information the better the probability of full payout for the loss. Appraisals of diamond rings or jewelry and artwork are a great way to provide proof of value. Appraisals, receipts, invoices, billing, and etc all need to be accounted for and organized so you know where to look when mayhem happens. You can also identify your belongings by engraving an identifying number on your possessions or videotaping them. Another great way to capture what you own is to take a picture with your cell phone and store those pictures in a safe place. That way if something is stolen or damaged you can show the adjuster the proof of what it cost and get coverage for it. By not having listed accounts of your possessions can lead to a disorganized claim handling experience which may result in loss of recoverable money for those possessions. There are too many sad stories to tell of people who were not prepared and organized for such losses.

How much are your clothes, furniture, electronics, jewelry, and etc worth to you? You’ll need coverage for that amount or the amount you think it will take to replace all of those items. Can you afford to replace YOUR POSSESSIONS? Allstate Insurance offers affordable ways to help protect your possessions. Plus, it can help cover theft outside your home, forgery for covered losses, lawsuits and more, up to policy limits.  A homeowner’s and renter’s policy will cover your property including theft, fire, water, family liability, guest medical expense, and your living expense if your apartment or house is damaged and you are unable to live there. You can also customize the policies to get the protection you need for the things that are most important to you. For those most important valuable items you can schedule them and get agreed value which is what the item is worth and not the actual cash value which is less depreciation. For low monthly premiums, you can protect your possessions and more. Plus, by insuring your home and auto with Allstate, you can save money on both with a multiple policy discount.

We recommend our customers talk and meet with Andrea Hancock, Head Professional Organizer & Owner of B Dexterous. Her company is phenomenal in helping people get the pieces of their lives with organization (and home inventory).



 

Jason Kilgo

 

Allstate Insurance

 

 

Kilgo Insurance Agency, Inc.

Office: 703-339-5300

http://agents.allstate.com/jason-kilgo-lorton-va.html

www.facebook.com/kilgoinsuranceagency

Client Conversations: "Be Kind to Your Later-self"

Recently, I was having a conversation with a client who is in the struggle with paper management.  She often traveled for work and when it was time to get the mail, she would simply lay it down somewhere and not address it (no pun intended).  When it was time (usually months later) to deal with pockets and piles of unopened mail it was a huge daunting task and she’d get through a little and then quit.

I asked her, if she were to bring in the mail about how many pieces would she bring in?  Of those pieces, how much would be junk mail?  How much would be things she could act on immediately and then throw away?  If we were to actually act on the mail each day, it would essentially be a 30-90 SECOND process.  But we usually are worried it will take longer, have other pressing needs or wants to attend to (“I’m hungry”, “I’m tired”, “the dog needs to go be walked…”) that we place the mail down and not give attention to it until it becomes a “later-self” problem.  Then your later-self has to deal with 2 hours of unopened mail, late payment fees, emailed rushed apologies for late RSVPs, and 45 minutes worth of shredding. ECK! Your later self is so mad, and she should be.

Being kind to your later self means, giving yourself the tools and time to take care of things that really don’t take long so that your later self won’t ever seek revenge by build a time-machine and coming back to give you a slap in the face!

Create a sorting station for mail right near where you get it.  Your tools will be:

1. A small table with about 2 feet of space underneath

2. A shredder No room for a shredder? Here are a couple alternatives!

ID Stamp

Shredding scissors

3.  A trash bin

4.  A place to file

Here are some suggestions  for filing later items

Vertically

Horizontally

Unconventionally

Junk mail

Recycle of if you are concerned about identity theft, tear off the portion of worry like the address or the credit card application shred that and recycle the rest.  Use a ID stamp on the address only.

Stop it from coming in by going to HERE (directmail.com)

Cards

Assign a place for cards to be displayed (fireplace mantel, refrigerator, magnet board, etc.) and display the card until another comes in.  If the card doesn’t have a special message, it’s okay to throw it away.  If it does have a special message or some extreme sentimental value, scan it/take a picture of it for a later keepsake book/scrapbook it.

Bills

Have a time to pay bills each week or month? Put the bills in a file in your mail center until then.

Correspondence, Reply Cards, RSVPs

RSVP – look at your calendar see if you are available whether you are or aren’t reply immediately, reserve the date on your calendar and either throw the invitation away or take a photo of it.  Invitations now-a-days get really fancy, you can sometimes treat it like a card (see Cards above)

Correspondence & reply cards – put in your action file or post on the fridge or near where you need to take action on it.

Things to Read

Whether they are magazines, letters, informational sheets – have a time of day or routine to read all those things.  Bathroom breaks, right before bed, on public transportation, while waiting at the Doctor’s office are great times to read.  Whatever you decide make a spot or put the reading material near where you would be during those times.
After reading either scan to put in an archive (this is great for Evernote) or THROW IT AWAY! Information is available at our fingertips.  Either what you read will soon be outdated or you can find the same thing again on the Internet.  If you keep it it’s VERY unlikely you’ll look at it again.

So be kind to your later self.  Set up a mail center; take care of the mail very soon after you get it, once a day for 30-90 seconds. Your later self will thank you.

If there are any mail items or paper that constantly floods your home that I didn’t address.  Feel free to email me at mailto:andrea@dexterousorganizing.com or tweet me @b_dexterous !