Be Kind to Your Later Self: 5 Surefire Ways to Make Shopping Guilt-Free

The bright lights, the big signs, the chance to get a deal, the chance to have something new & different in your home..on your body...on your kids' bodies...the list of clothing, home goods, and gadgets are endless.  It's a rush!  Then shopping bags settle, receipts clear and you re-group after the ultimate shopping experience you start to notice you may have purchased duplicates, you have clothes in your closet with the tags still on them that you forgot you had, and items by the door (for weeks) that need to be returned after buyer's remorse.  Well here are some ways to make your next shopping experience less than sinful.

Have a needs and a wants list

• Use Evernote, S Note, One Note, or a notepad (if you always keep it with you) to keep track
• Have a wishlist at your favorite stores (Amazon)
• Use Wishpot.com - a free wishlist service

Budget money each week to spend on yourself

• Use a prepaid card (I like AMEX bluebird, zero fees for most activities other pre-paid cards charge)
• Use the envelope system (when the money is gone it's gone)
• Open a bank account just for fun stuff & shopping
• You don't have to spend money on yourself on THINGS.  Get a massage, take a sushi making class, save it up for a really grand getaway, or better yet buy someone you care about a gift.  It really is better to give than to receive.

Set boundaries for items you purchase

• When you assign a certain area in your closet just for pants and then you notice you've run out of room in that area, or perhaps you don't have any more space on your dresser for another bottle of perfume,the magic pill is...you guess it: Stop buying more. The tendency is to just start another collection somewhere else and pretty soon starts the "I forgot I had that..." syndrome because we have too much stuff in too many places.  Chances are you aren't using all of the items and can stand to do a little purging. Which leads to #4.

Out with the old, unworn, can't fit, dusty & broken

• The one in one out rule is probably best (so is jogging 5 miles everyday but very few people can or want to) but you may have to crawl before you walk, try putting a time in your monthly calendar to go through items in drawers, closets, bookshelves.  If you do shopping on a weekly basis, make it a point to donate to the thrift store at least once a month.  I'm dropping things off at Goodwill at least bi-weekly and I could probably still stand to purge more often.  Things come into our lives at exponential rates, so we have to be cognizant of purging.
• Once you're down to your needs (and to make you feel better we'll use the word "needs" loosely) you can start to see the items you really don't have or need more of (or less of) and then shopping will be more purposeful and even more enjoyable because your guilt levels will be at an all time low when you get things you need versus "it was cute"/"it was on sale"/"I thought I needed another pair of black pants"

Avoid make shopping a recreational activity especially when you don't have a real need for anything

• We all need to unwind and some of us need therapy but avoid making retail therapy a habit. Try making girls night out an activity instead like: (wine and art, museum, going to the gym, a cool cooking class, or do that cool arts and crafts thing you wanted to try on Pinterest)
• We've all heard the proverb: "Idle hands is the devil's workshop" well guess where the devil goes with your idle credit cards and bank account? Shopping for recreational purposes can create havoc on your budget and your closet space.

Shopping can be fun but it can lead to a life full of things you don't need, you don't use, and you really didn't want.  Once you learn to set boundaries, buy what you really need and avoid unwarranted recreational shopping trips you can make the best use of your space, time, and money.

Sweep up Monday's mess

Okay, it's cool, it promotes a clean house and great for a bad back without having to get a vacuum.  That's all I got. Any other reasons why someone would buy this? I'm not opposed just interested. For those really intrigued you can find it HERE.

Inspiration & Motivation!

Sometimes we psych ourselves out. We think about how daunting something we have to do is.  We over think, we over plan, we talk about it.  But sometimes it's easier to just get started and correct our course once we've started moving.

My inspiration and motivation for you is to just start, just begin.  Identify the first step and take it.

The best book I read on this subject is Do the Work by Steven Pressfield. Don't give into resistance. Do the work!

Just a moment of gratitude!

What Do Professional Organizers Learn At Conference Anyway...?

In April I went to the NAPO 2013 Professional Organizer's Conference in New Orleans. I'll sneak a few points I learned that I will pass on to you!

I'm sure many people wonder how much can you learn about being organized. I mean really. Well despite some beliefs, organizing and productivity go waaaaaaaay deeper than just keeping things off the floor, in pretty bins with labels. Often there is deep psychology that goes into coaching people in the right direction. Noticing certain behaviors and learning techniques to avoid, or overcome certain behaviors.Professional organizers are project managers, coaches, solution providers, accountability partners, and of course there is the keeping things off the floor and putting them in pretty bins with labels...

At conference one of our keynote speakers was Dr. Kelly Mcgonigal, PhD. Dr. Mcgonigal is a health psychologist and lecturer at Stanford University, and a leading expert in the new field of “science-help.” She is passionate about translating cutting-edge research from psychology, neuroscience, and medicine into practical strategies for health, happiness, and personal success.

Her topic was on "Unmask the Potential In Yourself: The Willpower Instinct." She noted that there are three "keys" of I want (your goals), I will ( things you say yes to), and I won't (things you say no to).We have the ability to exercise our brains in order to become aware of when we are doing something against our goals.. One way to challenge yourself is through what she calls small willpower challenges. An example of one is making a conscious decision to no longer say contractions in speech (i.e. I won't turns into I will not). This small exercise can help the brain create awareness and then we can begin to train the brain to do other things like break bad habits or create good ones.

One thing that was of great interest as well she noted: STOP THE SHAME AND GUILT.Shame and guilt lead to the "what-the-hell" syndrome. Which sabotages will power. We've all done it. The doughnut study (which I wish I was considered to be a part of) shows that women who felt guilt (different than regret) and shame if they ate a doughnut then ate another or two. Why? The second (or third) doughnut was soothing the guilt and the shame of the first.Crazy right? Well conversely if you forgive yourself  for the first doughnut your brain doesn't need the soothing from the guilt and shame and people were able to move on and still reach weight-loss goals.

The point for organizing is the psychology behind habit-forming activities and why some clients have such a hard time overcoming clutter. Organizing takes will power and often clutter creates shame. If professional organizers learn how shame, guilt, and willpower work we can create the best solutions for our clients.

So to all my clients...aren't you glad you hired a professional?

What's On Your Plate? - The Main Course.

So you have a lot on your plate?

The Main Course

We've all been there.  At a friend's home for dinner where the instructions were to grab a plate and help yourself, or at a buffet-style restaurant.  With plate in hand, your stomach grumbles, your mouth salivates, and your eyes scan over the delectables.  Most of us want to eat somewhat sensibly but somehow simultaneously give into the desires of our taste buds.

A few blog posts ago we delved into thinking about our time more tangibly, as if we are filling literal plates.  Just as we all have 24-hours in a day, we can only fit so much activity in each day or on our "plates".  As we talk about our metaphorical buffet, we can review tips and ways of thinking for our priorities, agendas, and to-do items.

Portion Control

One thing we've heard when we are limiting ourselves to a specific number of calories is portion-control.  This helps us deal with the eyes-are-bigger-than-your-stomach syndrome.  At a literal buffet a well cooked-ham looks appealing but it would be unwise and futile to put the whole ham on our plate.  We get a carving knife and we get a couple slices at a time.  Similarly, if we know we have a big project coming up, it's over-whelming to think we can do it all in one day.  We should break it down into smaller pieces and if at all possible share (or delegate) the pieces of the project to others.

Eat Your Veggies

Another method we've heard that helps us achieve a non-gluttonous, more healthy approach to dining buffet-style is eat your salad first. Make sure your salad is full of nutrient-rich diverse fruits and vegetables and a low-calorie dressing.  This ensures you get vitamins in and it also helps you put the most important foods in your body before you fill up on things like pasta and ice cream.  When it comes to time management, we likewise must do the less-interesting but more productive items first.  Watching the news, going shopping, or checking out the latest on social media may be legitimate things we need to do.  However, if we get things done that are less-desirable but necessary, like exercise, putting away laundry, paying bills, etc. We have those things done and we can enjoy the more exciting items on our to-do list, without the guilt, shame, and heart-ache of falling behind on the necessary mundane activities.

Keeping your plate balanced is also key to good time management.  Stay tuned to this blog as we'll talk about navigating the buffet and how yummy-fun-dessert-like items are also a must!

Thinking outside the box.

I recently jumped on the Elfa sale in February and then the following work smart office sale this month at The Container Store.  I turned my new nook-of an-office into a functional space. It's not Home & Garden but it works for me!. I use the vertical space to fit A LOT of stuff but it's organized and functional for me.  If you knew my home office before I moved you know I had a lot of space, half a guest room and 90% of a walk in-closet to be exact. But with our move to DC, the room that I work out of also serves as a den/family room with futon and tv, my office and library, the cats' lair (complete with litter box, cat condo, and cat bed/house along with their food), and our coat closet.  And to make matters more interesting this room is about half the size of the my former office space and as noted it serves about 3 more functions.  Therefore, I'm so grateful for the vertical space and my organizing agility to get this space to function efficiently. We've only been at our new residence about a month and a half so I'm proud that I was able to eke this work space out with sure tweaks as time goes on. And thank goodness for the sales at The Container Store, they were right on time! But what if you have a small space for two people to work with?  You can get into MacGyver-meets-HGTV mode and with a bookshelf, a flat surface desk, two chairs and organizing accessories you can create THIS: A functional work space for two! What about you? Do you have a space challenge? I'd love to hear about it! Reply to this email and ask me and perhaps in our next Ezine I'll answer your question!