Beating Burnout: How to Avoid Feeling Overwhelmed

On the road to burnout city? Here are four simple tactics that will show you how to avoid feeling overwhelmed.

I was talking with a client the other day (we’ll call her Sandra), and she was telling me about her tendency to over-commit. Sandra’s husband will say something to her like, “Hey, can you take care of [insert task or errand here] today?” and her automatic response is, “Sure, I’ll handle it.”

Sandra commits to these requests without calculating what she has on her plate, how long the task will take and if it’s something she can feasibly do. Then, when she can’t fulfill her promise, she not only puts more pressure on herself, but lets her husband down as well.

So much of burnout stems from us taking on more than we can handle. Over the years, I’ve noticed the mistakes that we all make on the road to burnout city. Fortunately, once identified, they’re easy to remedy. Take a look at these tactics on how to avoid  feeling overwhelmed:  

Choose your words wisely

If you give an exact time and date as to when you can do something, you need to be sure you can see it through. This is why it’s important to select the right response when someone asks you to do something that is important. If you say, “Yeah, I can do that today,” and you can’t, it can hurt your relationships and connections. Trust is eroded when you can’t keep promises—and you end up feeling even more frazzled.

Takeaway: When possible say things like “soon” or “by the end of the week” instead of “tomorrow at five.”

Avoid making promises without reservation

Let’s jump back to the example of Sandra. Instead of telling her husband “Sure!” right off the bat, she should have said something like “Let me check my calendar first.” This would have given her a better idea of what she had going on and if she was able to accommodate his request.

Takeaway: Always check your schedule before making a commitment. And speaking of calendars…

Create and maintain a schedule

I recently read a book called Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress-Free Productivity by David Allen. In the book, Allen talks about “open loops,” which are all the to-dos you carry with you throughout the day. These open loops rattle around in your brain and you constantly circle back to them, reminding yourself you need to get this done or remember to pick up that. This causes anxiety. Instead, we need to close our loops by scheduling them out.  

Takeaway: Keep a calendar and add to-do items to your calendar. This will get them out of your head and give you a visual representation of what you have on your plate.

Don’t volunteer your time without thinking it through

A few days ago, I told a friend whose husband recently came home from the hospital that I would bring a rotisserie chicken to her house the next day at 11:00 am. I volunteered to do this without checking my calendar or even thinking through what I had going on. When the day arrived, I realized I over-extended myself and was running behind schedule. At 10:30 am she called to ask if I was still coming. I ended up having to tell her I’d bring it at 12:00 pm instead.

Takeaway: Do for others, but only be specific when you’ve checked your schedule and know for sure what you can commit to.

With a clear idea of what you’ve got going on and by managing expectations, you can avoid feeling overwhelmed. And the less we feel overwhelmed, the further we distance ourselves from burnout.

If you need some suggestions on any of the tips above or if you have questions, feel free to reach out and schedule a discovery call with me today!

"If Your Compassion Does Not Include Yourself it is Incomplete."

Often we judge ourselves right into a state of inactivity.  Set your goals at an attainable level, and do something every day to create the organization and productivity in your life that creates balance and joy.

A Room to Cheer About: The Difference Between Collecting and Hoarding

I remember the day about five years ago, when I stood in the living room of my first stranger-client (I call her that because she was my first client who found me on her own and who was not related to me or a friend, or a friend of a friend).

She had moved from a larger home to a two-level townhouse and she was in love with baskets, Longaberger Baskets to be exact, lots of them. She had moved several months prior, but the unopened boxes were overtaking her living space. During the consult she looked at me and with sincerity in her eyes asked, “Am I a hoarder?”

I was too young in my career to give a definitive professional answer, but I found out later that no, she wasn’t. She simply didn’t downsize properly and was dealing with overwhelm and avoidance--Very common reactions. But her question, I later found out, would be a common one clients ask.

Television shows inundate us with visions of true hoarders who cling to trash and treasure with the same extreme compulsion that we sometimes feel to our possessions. When it’s hard for us to let go or when we start “collecting” things, many of us start to wonder if we’ll soon have cameras documenting the narrow walkways in our homes.

Before you freak out and panic that you may also be labeled a hoarder, there’s something you should read first. A few years ago, I saved an article from my alumni magazine (Go Terps!).Below is a page from a true University of Maryland fan.In one room (man cave to be exact) Dennis Cyr truly pays homage to his alma

mater with organized collections in a room of red, gold and black. He is not a hoarder but a collector.

A hoarder according to Mayo Clinic: “Hoarding disorder is a persistent difficulty discarding or parting with possessions because of a perceived need to save them. A person with hoarding disorder experiences distress at the thought of getting rid of the items. Excessive accumulation of items, regardless of actual value, occurs.”

Dennis Cyr is a true collector which Mayo Clinic describes in more detail: “People who have collections, such as stamps or model cars, deliberately search out specific items, categorize them and carefully display their collections. Although collections can be large, they aren't usually cluttered and they don't cause the distress and impairments that are part of hoarding disorder.”

Mr. Cyr displays his collection proudly and in an organized way that shows his love of UMD Football.

Are you showing your collection love?  Or are they in unopened boxes? It’s time for spring cleaning.  It’s time to let go of trash and display or store with honor things that are treasure.

Need help? Feel free to reach out.

Confessions of an Organizer: Why My Home is Organized

When someone finds out that I’m a professional organizer, I often hear the statement: "So, I know your house is perfect." And to that I say "No, my house is organized.”

I'm a busy business owner with no kids, so it’s probably easier for me then a lot of the population. But if you aren’t quite organized, take heart! It could take months or even years of learning what works and putting it into practice to get organized. Everyone's situation changes throughout their lives which affects their level of organization. But there are basic principles of how you can stay organized.

Here is a list of reasons why my house is organized:

1. We don't own a lot of things

I'm no minimalist (although some of my clients may think I am), but we try to pair down and purge on a regular basis. I try to only have what I need and buy only for the space that I have. When shopping not only do I ask: “Do I need or want this?” I also ask, “Where will I put it?” Because we live in a cozy one-bedroom apartment the answer to that question often leaves the item at the store.

2. I learn from the struggles of my clients

When I'm with my clients I see time and time again the same resistance: emotional struggles and the turmoils associated with unnecessary acquisition and letting go of things. It's like I get the privilege of seeing the same lesson over and over again. My own personal Ground Hog day, and unlike Bill Murray’s character Phil, the day is different, the client is different and the things may be different, but again and again and again it's often the same challenges. I get to see the moral, and I try my best to "get it" when I practice the acquisition and letting go of things in my own life.

3. “The best things in life aren't things” quote means more to me than a pin on Pinterest  

This one is pretty self-explanatory, but I want to emphasize how important it is. The moments we experience and share with loved ones are always more important than the collection (and working for and maintenance) of more and more items.

4. I don't strive for perfection

I'm in my late 30's and I'm over what people think (mostly). With age, my spiritual perception, and a little help of Brené Brown and her book The Gifts of Imperfection, I’ve come to realize living life based on unrealistic expectation is unfruitful. Organizational bliss, in my opinion, is a cross between finding what you need, when you need it, and knowing what is priority in your life.  How things look is often just the icing on the cake. Ironically when you have priorities in place, and put your belongings where you can find them, things tend to look nice naturally.

5. I try never to organize for the sake of being organized or for what others think  

I organize because it adds value and supports the functions of my life. Overall, it allows me to have great experiences, and to do things and be with people who are important to me.

When I'm balanced, I'm happy, and it doesn't bother me that I didn't make up my bed (for the day) or the laundry basket is full if it’s for good reason. If I know I gave the more important things in my life attention, then I'm at peace. When I feed my soul (or things that make me, me), then I have the energy and the desire to take care of the day to day maintenance that being organized requires.

6. I make a game plan  

Sometimes having a game plan works out, but the fact that I had a plan in the first place often gives me the courage to start. If you were shipwrecked on a desert island, would you just jump into the sea hoping for the best? No. You'd get your Tom-Hanks-in-Cast-Away skills on and make a plan of action. It's still scary, but that fact that you thought about a plan of attack will help you move forward. And, if you happen to get stuck, you can always refer back to your original plan.

7. I delegate and I don't try to do it all by myself (anymore)

Honestly, if it weren't for my husband my house would only be organized 80% of the time…(Thanks, Honey).But he’s not the only person on my team who helps me get the job done. It’s important to call in for backup when we need it, it’ll help us get to the things we love to do much quicker. It took me a while to get that lesson.

8. I make sure all my things have a home

We have assigned homes to most things in our home and car. It’s a rare occasion that we are frantically clueless about where something is. This practice can save a lot of time. If we are looking for something we need to have a vague idea of where it is. If you have a drawer filled with random, miscellaneous items, it’s time to empty the drawer and give each thing a home to call its own.

9. I realize the rhythm of my week, and energy levels  

When I first ended my 9-5 career I was still stuck in that mentality. I soon realized that I need to get up and get started earlier to get everything done. Then I realized that my mental clarity was sharper in the morning and when I was alone.  Because of this, I do a lot more administrative and creative tasks (like my planning, bookkeeping, blog writing, social media) earlier in the day and more laborious but less mentally intensive tasks (like cleaning, exercise, folding clothes, responding to emails) tasks at night. I also realize that I don’t have the gumption to go the gym early, but I’m more likely to go at 9:00 p.m. than at 6:00 a.m. Instead of forcing myself to go to the gym early, I don’t waste  time or energy trying to drum up motivation in spite of my low-energy level. Understanding my personal rhythm and energy has allowed me to get more things done because I work on things that match my energy levels.  Where you have the luxury of setting your own schedule, make sure you do so effectively.

Every individual is different, and what I’ve found that works for me may not work for you.  And what works for me now, may not work for me later. It's about learning the ebb and flow of your life and taking steps to readjust when necessary.  

You can try to incorporate some of the things that worked for me and see what happens. If you’re still struggling to get your home organized, reach out. We can help you come up with some personalized solutions that may work better for you.

Andrea Hancock is a professional organizer & productivity consultant, blogger, speaker, and educator that assists and empowers busy professionals, entrepreneurs and those experiencing major life transitions to create and maintain organizational systems that work for them personally.  Andrea is also founder of Dexterous Organizing, a results-oriented professional organizing company.  Book a free 15-minute Discovery Call to begin your journey to better productivity and more organizational prowess or give us a call at (703) 606-8968.

Quote of the Month: "Any time you sincerely want to make a change, the first thing you must do is to raise your standards."

Who's On Your Team?

How do you feel about delegation? Most of us are brought up to think that hiring someone to do something that you could do yourself is lazy, decadent, or only for the wealthy and famous. Is that how you feel? A few decades ago that thought process might have held a lot more weight.

These days, however, we are inundated with more demands on our time and attention than ever before. Caring for our homes, vehicles, and whole-selves (including our physical, mental, emotional. and spiritual needs) are just basic things that require lots of time and attention.

On top of our basic care, we have goals and ambitions that make our lives and those around us better. For many this could mean going back to school or taking classes for work, juggling demanding careers, enjoying fulfilling but time-intensive hobbies or side-projects, participating in preventative care like going to the gym, getting a massage, taking fitness classes, or working towards weight and health management efforts. Then we are have to consider the needs of others. I’ve seen clients who are balancing caregiving roles for young children and aging parents simultaneously, all while trying to spend quality time with friends and family. It can all make us feel crazy busy.

In Dr. Edward Hallowell’s book Crazy Busy he mentions delegation is key number seven of the 10 key principles to managing modern life. He states: “Delegate what you don’t like to do or are not good at if you possibly can. Your goal should be to be not independent, but rather effectively interdependent...For children and adults alike, learning how to be effectively interdependent is a major life skill.” How humbling! No man is an island—we need others to effectively manage our own lives.

With modern technology we can have our own “team” to help us do to things that we don’t like to do or are not good at. This frees up time so we can work on the projects and tasks we like and/or allows us to better use our time to do the things that take us less time or bring us more fulfillment.  

If we are around people who make us feel like we are “too big for our britches,” when we hire or ask for help, then it’s time to find new friends (just kiddin'). But feel free to use this as a good humble response: “I’ve found that to care better for myself and family, I should focus on the things that I do well and that are important to me, and delegate the things that allow me to be a better [wife, mother, husband, father, business owner, daughter, son, friend, person].”

So, who’s on your team to help you be the best you? Below I’ve included a list of folks and some links that can get the ball rolling to increase your delegation efforts.

Here are a few suggestions of people to add to your “team”:

• Dog walker/pet care professional
• Personal trainer
• Professional organizer
• Doctors
• Chef/food prep service
• Home cleaning service
• Wardrobe consultant
• In-home massage therapist
• Laundry service
• Hair care professional
• Virtual assistant

Realizing the areas in which you can afford to do some delegation can help to improve your relationships, quality of life, health, and well-being. What’s not to love about that? Simply take a look at what you’ve currently got on your plate and determine the areas in which you can start to offload. Trust me, you can always make more money, but you can’t make more time. Time spent adding quality to your life and to those whom you love. Your whole-self will thank you!

I’d love to hear from you?  What are some things you delegate to someone else? How has it benefited you?

Andrea Hancock is a professional organizer & productivity student, blogger, speaker, and educator that assists and empowers busy professionals, business owners and those experiencing major life transitions to create and maintain organizational systems that work for them personally.  Andrea is also founder of Dexterous Organizing, a results-oriented professional organizing company.  Book a free 15-minute Discovery Call to begin your journey to better productivity and more organizational prowess. Also visit our website at www.DexterousOrganizing.com or give us a call at (703) 606-8968.

The Day I Deleted My Future

I don’t remember the exact day, but I do remember the tears. I even remember the moment in which I created my demise and it was hours before I realized I was in deep doo-doo.

Here’s the story: I was standing in line with my husband at Wegmans and, like most young modern women, I was putting something on my mobile calendar while waiting. I must have also been playing around with the features in my calendar because I vaguely remember clearing out what I thought was an archived to-do list. I don’t remember the prompt my phone gave me, but I do remember it saying something like, “Are you sure?” and I thought I was very sure so I hit okay and moved on.

Later that afternoon I got a call from my mom asking me if I was still attending a family event. I, (in my foolishly arrogant way) replied, “Yes, Ma, I said I was coming on the calendar invite, why would I suddenly change my mind?” My mom explained how she just talked to my aunt who said I declined the event. After reassuring my mom I would be there, I turned to my husband and related what happened. I probably also added some snarky comment about the futility of replying to a calendar invite when I was going to have to verbally reply as well. This was moments before I realized the chocolate had already hit the fan. That’s when my husband replied that he also noticed I had declined all of our appointments together as well. I stopped what I was doing, turned to my husband and said,  “What do you mean?”. Before he could answer, I rushed to my computer and looked at my calendar. It was blank. Like blank-blank.

My calendar normally looks like this

My mind raced as I tried to figure out when this horrible, terrible nightmare could have happened. That’s when I realized, while standing in line at the grocery store, I had erased all the events on my calendar past, present, and future spanning about 5 years. .. .

To give some context as to why this was so heartbreaking,  I LIVE by my calendar--it lets me know who to call, where to go, and how to plan my day. I even have bedtime events and reminders on my calendar (Hey, a girl needs her rest!).

After my "power play," my calendar looked like this

I use my calendar for every doctor’s appointment, client meeting, wedding, and even funerals. I set it and forget it. It is my proof of life, my personal assistant that keeps me on track with my day and to-do lists--my way of documenting my existence and how I keep track of all my future events.

All of it gone--with one button push while in line at the grocery store! Hours earlier as I was glancing at magazine tabloids about Kim Kardashian (because when isn’t she in the tabloids?) and recipes on the best dessert of the season while I single-fingeredly threw my life into cyberspace wasteland.

As the panic drained my face of color my dear husband sprang into action as he saw the tears rolling down my face.Together we began to look for a solution and came across a software called Spanning Undelete for Google Calendar (particularly the one in the Chrome Apps Marketplace). Here’s what to do if you ever (God-forbid) need to get your calendar back:  Install the app, and sign into your Google profile. The app will see all the calendars you have created so you can then go in and click all the calendar events you’d like to undelete. The only caveat is all your undeleted events will also have “undeleted” in the title (which, in my opinion is a small price to pay for getting everything back!).

My digital misstep happened sometime in the summer of 2015. But in November 2015, Google created a “trash” folder for Google Calendar. During the time of my catastrophe, once you deleted an event you were up a creek without a paddle. Now the trash folder for Google Calendar holds deleted messages for 30 days. This new feature is great for things that you need to add back within a few days (like an event that was cancelled but then is suddenly back on). But for calendar events that you want to resurrect prior to 30 days you can use Spanning.

So, if you’re ever standing in line at the grocery store and you push a button and it says “Are you sure?” Well, you better be, or you might just be deleting your future, too!

Andrea Hancock is a professional organizer & productivity student, blogger, speaker, and educator that assists and empowers busy professionals, business owners and those experiencing major life transitions to create and maintain organizational systems that work for them personally.  Andrea is also founder of Dexterous Organizing, a results-oriented professional organizing company.  Book a free 15-minute Discovery Call to begin your journey to better productivity and more organizational prowess. Also visit our website at www.DexterousOrganizing.com or give us a call at (703) 606-8968.